Christmas time!

Christmas time!!!!!!!! That time of year again where you look forward to family time, loads of food and lots of good times. Unfortunately its not going to be the same this year as grandpas really poorly and he will be in hospital over christmas. Never had this before. This amount of grief and upset in my life. Hes not going to get better so have to come to terms with it i suppose. Why is there always so much sadness that surrounds christmas or is that luck just reserved for my family? I should be looking forward to Santa coming for the girls sake but it took me to put up the tree this year and they are picking up on it. They havnt even asked when christmas is. So we are going to see SANTA on saturday and then a tour of the streets with the brightest lights possible... I just hope its raining so we can all just sit in the car listening to the rain and wathcing the flashing. They are going to love it! Hopefully that will make them all excited for the week ahead and take my mind off things for an hour or so. We also got engaged 2 weeks ago. It was the most amazing weekend ever. I was surprised with a weekend to Edinburgh. The time we spent there was perfect and there at the top of Edinburgh Castle all my dreams came true in the space of 2 minutes. Was on a complete high then came home to the worst phone call I have ever had in my life. Your Grandpa has cancer AGAIN and hes in hospital. Thats been our life really for the past 2 weeks up and down to the hospital in between that recieving cards and best wishes. He seems to be doing better now and able to get out of bed which is a huge improvement so things are looking as positive as they can at the moment and now we are back to christmas, back to the present wrapping, kids singing carols, making cards and hats for the big day!  Im just so lucky I have such a wonderful, supportive and caring family around me. That whats christmas time is for me.... being with the people that genuinely love me, be it well or poorly!!!!

Parenthood!

Why is it the girls always have to fight over the same thing every day? I have a playroom full of toys but if one has a toy then all the others want the same one. Looking at them arguing and screaming at each other its hard to remember the younger days when everything was new and fresh. I remember when I was pregnant with my first, sitting there in the hospital room waiting to be induced...... It was the most scariest point of my life. I had got use to being pregnant but hadnt really thought about the aftermath...... the Baby! And there after 16 hours of labour, there she was, my beautiful first child. I still remember her looking up at me with those big blue eyes and nothing else mattered. There was no fighting, no noise, no washing, no ironing, no tidying. Just me and her! Then 3 years later number 2 and 2 years later number 3. My life took on a whole new meaning with every new baby born. There is no more going out to work, my days are filled with cleaning, tidying, washing, cooking, puzzles, playdough, dressing babies, tickeling, giggeling and appreciating every single moment I have with them because before I know it they will all be at school, having boyfriends and asking to go out (scary). My job is much more important now. I was once told that being a parent was the hardest job in the world, I now know that to be true... making sure you guide them in the right direction and getting the balance right between decipline and support. One thing that I do know is I love my children like no other perfect or imperfect and I wouldnt change them for the world!!! Theres no more babies in this house for sure...... but I am so excited for the people in our lives to become parents especially my close girlfriends. I know that every single one of them will make awesome Mummys..... they are loving, caring, funny, supportive, loyal and I am so looking forward to sharing that experience with them!

First time for everything!

Well this will be new! This is my first blog so I apologise what may follow. I thought id set this up just to share my experiences however large or small with others (good or bad)! Feel a bit silly to be honest but im sure it will get easier.... just going to write whats on my mind and take from it what you will! Gives me something new to do and maybe somewhere else to vent! We will see ...............